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Are you afraid of aging? Why?
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Women often go through various procedures and try different products that will supposedly take years off their appearance. Are we really afraid of aging? Is skin care maintenance just masking our fear of old age?
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Women don't fear aging in a vacuum. We live in a world that values women almost solely as sex symbols, and when you get old, you get invisible. In a world like that, being less than enthusiastic about aging is a sane attitude, unfortunately. I'm not saying it's good, but I AM saying that it's not a problem with women. It's a problem with the world.
For me, I dislike aging because it means that parts of my body are going to work less well. My knees hurt, my back hurts more than it always has, my eyes don't adjust as quickly as they used to, and my periods are getting REALLY aggravating. Aging is not a pleasant thing physically. Mentally ... I wouldn't trade it for the world. But physically aging bites. It's painful and inconvenient, and people start assuming that you're stupid not only because you're female, but because you're an old and useless female besides. -
Janis, you pretty much nailed it when you said "My knees hurt, my back hurts more than it always has, my eyes don't adjust as quickly as they used to, and my periods are getting REALLY aggravating. " Good to know it's not just me.
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Yeah. Honestly, compared to having to walk more slowly down stairs when I'm in heels -- verrrrry slowly -- not looking like a 20 year old anymore is peanuts. At least if I don't look like a 20 year old, I don't have to contend with 20 year old guys making pains in the backside of themselves, which is actually an advantage. At least the men you hang with when you get older are a little more adult. :-)
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I would agree with the comments so far...for most of us it isn't the aging we fear as much as the mental and/or physical deficiencies we begin to notice. But as they say "consider the alternative".
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You know, I do very clearly recall the first thing that came into my head when grey hair started showing up in more than the occasional ones and twos. "Oh my god, now people will expect me to know what I'm doing." Seriously. The first and scariest part of getting older to me was that other people will cease to cut me slack, and my boss will expect me to be completely competent. Grey hair generally means you've got your sh*t together. I'm not even sure where most of my sh*t is.
It surprised me since so many people just brush it off and say that women don't like going grey because Boys Won't Like Us Anymore or some shallow garbage. It shocked me that the fact that I would be expected to have at least somewhat of a handle on my life was my primary concern, just a reflex that shot up of its own accord, and I would never have predicted it.
Add that to the red-sea periods, the knee and back pain, and the fact that going down stairs has ceased to be a thoughtlessly performed activity, and aging generally bites. -
I've been thinking about this more, lately. I hate looking older, really, and I'm saving up for cosmetic surgery. I do the basics - exercise, eat right, use only proven cosmetic aides (retin A etc) and good sunscreen.
I don't dislike being older. But yeah, looking older is.... well, I still feel the same as when I was 25! -
Janis: " "Oh my god, now people will expect me to know what I'm doing." "
o m g.. people expect you to know what your doing just because you're older?!?? crap.. i'm screwed for life..
and ok.. I know I shouldn't contribute to this thread for fear of being stoned to death with compacts by the rest of you, but since the past year, I've realized that I am getting older.. Those fine lines are popping up underneath my eyes and they aint going away with a good night of sleep. A part of me IS afraid of getting older because I've always felt like I'm just a kid. Older means actually taken responsibility for my own actions. No more hiding behind whoever happens to stand in front of me. It means I'm expected to be serious and to be taken seriously.
There's also that "what the hell have I done with my life thus far? NOTHING!" voice yelling at me every second. That's where the biggest fear lies in. My parents are telling me to pick a damn career path already since I'm getting old. So yea.. I don't wanna get old... -
We went to see the Pretenders last night. I saw them for the first time THIRTY YEARS AGO, when they had just released their first album. This was the first album that really "spoke to me" and I sort of feel like Chrissy Hynde and I grew up together. Anyway, it was kind of weird sitting in the audience with a bunch of people who are a lot like me because I thought "These guys don't look like Pretenders fans. Pretender fans are way cool, rebellous and edgy" and then I remembered that we were way cool and edgy back in the day but now we're all responsible and stuff. Anyway, it was an awesome concert and everyone was on their feet screaming like we were all 30 years younger. As for Chrissie, who's lived harder than any of us and is now 57 (but doesn't "feel a day over 56",) she looks great. She wore skin tight jeans, a pair of bangin' boots (Stella McCartney, no doubt; I think they're buds) with high heels, and a jacket with tails and never stopped moving the entire time. She sounds as good as she did 30 years ago, and probably looks better then she did back then(quitting heroin will do that, don't ya know) so if she can do what she's doing at 57, I'm just going to shut up and stop complaining about 47.
I would like to point out that she looks a helluva lot better than her male counterparts, who all look like shriveled, old monkeys. So much for the whole "men age better than woman" thing.
Also, I need those boots. -
Hee-hee! Sounds like a fun night!
I think my own personal midlife crisis started when I realized that "Separate Ways" was released twenty-five years ago. o_O *sigh* Journey ... Steve Perry ... Sorry, if I vanish, it's because I've just teleported back to 1981 ... -
well, i know im pretty paranoid about aging, and im not sure if its a good thing... I'm still in my teens.
When i was 16 i went to the doctor to get a prescription for retin-a and ive been wearing sunscreen obsessivly for a year now.
I guess i kind of resent the fact, that people from colder countries probably have better skin and less damaged skin then i do, living in australia with fair skin. I already look older then i am. Which is really annoying and embaressing. -
My boyfriend and I went to go visit one of his relatives in an Alzheimer's home over Thanksgiving...and that scared the crap out of me. Please, please let me keep my mind!
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I'm not afraid of aging, I'm afraid of dying. Even though I believe in God and an afterlife I'm still afraid of it. Not being able to taste things, to feel the air on my skin, even things like popping pimples and other painful things I enjoy on some level because it means I'm alive and still have free will. Once you're dead - forget it, either you're being punished or you're stuck in enternal worship with no free will. Never to taste chocolate again? To pet my dog and feel her warm fur? Even migraines are enjoyable when you realize they mean you're still on earth.
Not that I don't want plastic surgery, mind you. Not so much for anti-aging but because I hate my body and I have scars. I'd like my breasts reduced a half cup size so I don't have to buy special sized bras or overflow a DD and raised so they're not saggy. I'd like lipo on parts of the body where it's hard to lose weight. I know it won't and can't take me from 240 to 135, but maybe if I had it I'd feel better enough about myself I'd actually stick to a diet and excercise program rather then getting depressed and giving up. I'd like my facial hair killed off once and for all and the scars from it and my acne reduced in appearance. Not to mention scars from mole removal. And something to lighten my stretch marks from being so fat. -
I agree with Jami that all of the little crap we have to deal with as we get older really isn't too terrible when you think about it in terms of just another part of being alive and continuously changing. It is a shame that we feel our best mentally as we age, but our bodies are not on the same level. I think what really matters is that you come to terms with the reality that you will never look as good as you did when you were young, and embrace the fact that you are aging because of experience and all that you've been through. Hold on to the belief that wisdom comes with age! I'm really starting to show my age and no matter what I do nothing helps as much as I wish it would, but I know no one holds that against me it's just a part of life
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I've looked older than my age as long as I can remember so therein comes my strange obsession with anti-aging. Let's put it this way I haven't worn a swimsuit since the age of 13, I had more cellulite sag and stretch marks at that age than my mother does right now in her 40's after two children. So I had an excuse to be self conscious and off course I started doing my research on skin care long ago. In a way I have my flaws to thank for pointing me in the way of my career, but yeah it hasn't been easy.
Making every part, not just my face, look younger (or at least my age in my case) is my eternal obsession. -
Yes, because I am vain:) Probably influenced by the social standards Janis referenced. I think it's also fear of the unknown, and the old nostalgia factor (wish I could rewind the clock...I'd do x,y,z differently). I came out unscathed where body image is concerned, though, because my mom really helped me from an early age to accept extra body fat here and there. I'm very grateful to her for that. Now I've gained a fair amount of weight (to the tune of 40-50 extra pounds), and want to lose it, but I am more than happy to go the beach as is.
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