Mid Brain muses

Happy Independence Day to all our American readers! To celebrate I thought we’d travel back in time and take a peek at cosmetic science around the time of the American Revolution.

Do It Yourself Cosmetics

If you’re interested in learning what life was like in colonial America, you can find an excellent summary at Fortklock.com; the details of how women made their own makeup was particularly fascinating. Believe me, they didn’t have much to work with! Here’s a quick comparison of colonial chemistry to our modern day magic.

Lip color

Then: Mix beet juice with lard.

Now: Something in a nice pinkish-taupe like NARS Turkish Delight!

Blush

Then: Either pinch your cheeks or, for the cultured sophisticate, mix beet juice with talc or cornstarch. (Jeez, those colonials were really big on beets!)

Now: Unfortunately, natural minerals hadn’t been invented yet back in 1776 or else they could have worn Laura Mercier Mineral Cheek Powder.

Mascara

Then: Moisten eyelashes with your fingers. (Mmmm, saliva-scented eyelashes! Jan Marini eat your heart out!)

Now: Today we have the incredible tubing technology of Blinc Kiss Me Mascara.

Anti-aging skin creams

Then: Rub bacon grease or fat on your face.

Now: Dab on a little ZIRH Protect Face Moisturizer. It even sounds like it’s from the Future - it’s ZIRH!

Lip Plumpers

Then: Bite your lip several times throughout the day.

Now: Never fear, Lip Fusion Micro-Injected Collagen Lip Plump is here! (I’ll stick to biting my lip, thank you kindly.)

The Beauty Brains bottom line

We have a lots to be thankful for this Independence Day: Government for the people by the people; freedom of religion, and science-spawned, store-bought cosmetics! Yay!

Mid Brain Muses:

Ahh, how times change.

Today, amid fears of Mad Cow Disease and Bird Flu, the mere HINT that a product contains any animal by-products is enough to send even the most zealous fan of cosmetics shrieking into the night. But not so back in the 1970s, no sir! This ad we found in the Beauty Brains archives shows that back then we embraced our animal by-products. Case in point, this Clairol Condition ad from 1974. Read the fine print carefully - “It contains more animal protein than any leading conditioner.” Now there’s a claim you don’t see anymore!

Apparently, that’s what some disheveled hair styles made people think during the 17th century. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the word cowlick refers to a patch of hair that grows in a different direction than the rest of the hairs. This beauty term came from the fact that when you have a cowlick, it looks as if a cow had licked your head. Thanks god for styling products! Incidentally, I asked Left Brain and there is no truth to the rumor that you can buy a hair gel based on cow saliva.

Do YOU have a cowlick? If so, how do keep it from ruining your style? Leave a comment and let the rest of the Beauty Brains community know.

-Mid Brain

Maggie hisses this question: My teacher says that beauty products are really just snake oil. Does that mean they’re poisonous? The Left Brain slithers a response:

Actually, Maggie, the term “snake oil” is usually used to imply that a product is fake or ineffective. Real snake oil, according to Wikipedia, comes from China, where “it is used as a remedy for inflammation and pain in rheumatoid arthritis and other similar conditions. Snake oil is still used as a pain reliever in China. Fats and oils from snakes are higher in eicosapentaenoic acid than other sources, so snake oil was actually a plausible remedy for joint pain as these are thought to have inflammation-reducing properties.”

After Chinese rail-road workers introduced snake oil to Westerners in the 1800’s, “The snake oil peddler became a stock character in Western movies: a traveling “doctor” with dubious credentials, selling some medicine (such as snake oil) with boisterous marketing hype, often supported by pseudo-scientific evidence, typically bogus.”

Given the history of the ingredient, it’s not surprising that Haiying Cosmetics in China markets Seabion Whitening and Moisturizing Lotion with, you guessed it, Snake Oil extract.

There’s no mention of joint pain, but the product supposedly replenishes moisture and nutrients, promotes skin metabolism and prevents damage from cold weather. But let’s face it, almost any decent skin lotion will do all those things.

Despite the “natural” angle, I’m guessing Snake Oil products wouldn’t sell very well here in the States.

And tell your teacher that he or she should visit the Beauty Brains!

Archeologists have discovered a Sephora store from 2000 B.C.

Ok, it`s not really Sephora, but it is believed to be the world`s oldest perfume factory.

Appropriately located on Cyprus, said to be home to Venus the Goddess of love, this factory still contains the original distilling equipment along with ingredients like olive oil, pine, coriander, laurel, bergamot, parsley and bitter almonds. The laboratory they uncovered is over 40,000 square feet and includes rooms dedicated to olive pressing, copper refining, and fragrance oil storage. According to the researchers, the plant employed dozens of people.

But the really cool thing is that these scientists have used the remnants of this ancient factory to recreate scents that are 4,000 years old. They duplicated the original perfumes using fragrance ingredients extracted from traces left in containers at the site. They even replicated the ancient extraction techniques by steeping the spices in water and oil.

• Discount Perfume
• Jennifer Lopez Perfume
• DKNY Perfume
• Versace Perfume
• Men`s Cologne
• Fendi Cologne

Imagine smelling a fragrance that was made 4000 years ago “ this may be the closet you`ll ever get to actual time travel!

The Beauty Brains thank the M&C blog for the tip on this article. And you can read more details from the original associated press account.

Here’s an exciting new product - Frederic Fekkai’s Wash & Wear spray shampoo. You can simply spray this in your hair to keep it clean in between shampoos.

“What an novel, breakthough idea!” you must be saying to yourself.

“Why has no one else in the history of hair care EVER thought of a spray on shampoo that doesn’t have to be rinsed off?” you’re probably pondering as you read this.

“Only the advanced science of the new millenium could have possibly created a spray on product to keep your hair clean between shampoos,” you’re thinking.

Is that what you’re thinking?

If it is, you’re WRONG!

It’s time you learned that, with the possible exception of the Internet, everything that’s worth inventing was created in the 70’s.

Case in point, check out this ad from the Beauty Brains ad vault for Psssst! Shampoo. Possibly the only cosmetic product ever to include a punction mark in it’s name.

Psssst! is also famous for being the first spray on, no rinse dry shampoo. It was essentially a powder that you sprayed in your hair to absorb oil, then you brushed it out. It didn’t work very well and it was kind of messy, but it did prevent hundreds of thousands of women from wearing a bag over their head between shampoos.

So in your FACE , Frederic Fekkai!

<—–Click image to enlarge

Here is another in our Beauty Brains series on actual cosmetic ads from the past.

We love this ad because of the irony of advertising a hair care product using a model who’s wearing a freakishly huge hat.

The product is meant to make your hair color more beautiful. Why are you covering it up?!?!

“Yes,” she says in a breathy, provocative tone, “I love this hair color so MUCH that I just have to hide it demurely under this ridiculously oversized hat!”

What’s next? A nail polish ad featuring glove-covered hands?

In case you’re interested…
copyright 1974 Clairol Incorporated

We here at the Beauty Brains like to peruse old magazines and see the way cosmetics used to be advertised. Some of these are quite amusing.

Yes, we know it was the 1970s.

Yes, we know that “hip” and “mod” reigned supreme.

In most beauty ads, the hair style takes center stage. “Make me look beautiful like the goddess in the ad” is what you’re supposed to say to yourself as you flip through Cosmo.

But this ad seems to call to you in a droning, zombie like tone:

If this were a James Bond villianess her name would be something catchy, like “Blue Bonnet Plague.” Unfortunately, it’s just an actual ad for a hair dryer. Go figure.